“Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee.”

from various reddit threads

at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke.  nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.

white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response.  tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.

(via cuterpillar)

(via theprospitianguards)

mysoulhasgrowndeep-liketherivers:

ben-c:

this is the most fucking embarrassing post on this entire fucking site please burn it immediately

I have cancer because of this shit

(via theprospitianguards)

soulless-ginger-freak:

jtotheizzoe:

astrotastic:

Jesus Christ you guys.

If you wish to make waffles from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

FIXED
soulless-ginger-freak:

jtotheizzoe:

astrotastic:

Jesus Christ you guys.

If you wish to make waffles from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

FIXED

soulless-ginger-freak:

jtotheizzoe:

astrotastic:

Jesus Christ you guys.

If you wish to make waffles from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

FIXED

(via theprospitianguards)

lowwbloods:

officialwillowpape:

i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret it

these boots are made for walkin

lowwbloods:

officialwillowpape:

i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret it

these boots are made for walkin

(via theprospitianguards)

tinylilremus:

No but can you just imagine Mrs Weasley getting to the magical afterlife one day and the first thing she sees is a girl with red hair sprinting towards her.

For a fleeting moment she thinks it’s Ginny, but as the girl comes closer she recognises the kind smile and the emerald eyes that are shining with tears. It’s Lily Potter.

Lily pulls Mrs Weasley into a tight hug and can only whisper three words before dissolving into tears.

"Thank you, Molly."

(via theprospitianguards)

elijahkrantz:

I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit

(via theprospitianguards)

“They told me to pour my heart into everything I do. So that’s what I did, I poured and poured and poured. Now they ask me why I’m so empty.”